I Spent A Day on edtwt

I’m back on Eugenia Cooney and eating disorders’ rabbit hole. I wrote this blogpost in late June 2021. It’s been 2 full years since. It really is a medical miracle that Eugenia is still here. Tapi memang harus diakui ternyata dia cuma salah satu contoh dari banyaknya orang yang punya masalah dengan eating disorder. I spent a day on edtwt and –again– rediscovering how sick someone could be with this multi-dimensional disorder.

1. They love to pace (walking back-and-forth for the sake of moving & losing calories)

2. It’s hard to “help” them because everything we said is either wrong or fueling their ED even further. They’re the only ones who could help themselves.

3. Body dysmorphia (a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about perceived “flaws” in their appearance, which are often unnoticeable to others). On edtwt, the body dysmorphia is often about how they sees themselves as “fat” while maintaining such low body weight.

4. They are obsessed with calories intake.

5. A lot of them know how to “maintain” their ED and not to go too far too fast.

6. They know they’re sick, that the ED is a not just a mental sickness but also makes them physically very sick.

7. ED is not simply a don’t-want-to-eat problem, it’s a form of (re)gaining control of their life.

8. There’s no winning in ED achievements because it’s crazy how the brain makes them think that the objectively sicker they get, the more successful they are.

9. Glossary of terms on edtwt:

  • ED = Eating disorder.
  • C/S = Chew and spit, to taste food but not actually consuming it.
  • B/P = Binge and purge, to eat delicious food voraciously but then deliberately throw it all up later
  • Purge = The act of deliberately throwing up consumed food.
  • Body dysmorphia = Seeing own body through the ED lens so it has skewed impression.
  • BC = Body checking, taking picture of own body to showcase the result/ progression of the ED.
  • Thinspo / bonespo = Images to get inspired to that showcase how thin/ boney somebody is.
  • Ana = Anorexia nervosa, one of the many eating disorders out there.
  • Pro-recovery = They who support recovery for people with eating disorder, being aware that to escape from the disorder is a great choice in life.
  • Res = restriction (of food/ calorie intake).
  • kms = kill moiself.
  • delulu = delusional.
  • Lax = laxatives, medication to trigger bowel movement so stomach could get emptied.
  • BMI = body mass index.
  • OMAD / TMAD = One / Two meal(s) a Day.
  • sw = starting weight.
  • cw = current weight.
  • gw = goal weight.
  • ugw = ultimate goal weight.
  • hw = highest weight.
  • lw = lowest weight.

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