A Look Back Into My 2022

Turning in my 2022 review about 2-weeks late. So what else is new? :))

Oh, 2022. To say that I don’t like my 2022 would be an understatement. I feel like it’s just… gone. It’s like I’m taking an absence of leave from life for the whole year. I bye-bye-d that year long before it ended. I checked out so early.

I wrote in my previous look back that my theme should’ve been “low key wealth and prosperity”, and turns out the reality couldn’t even get farther from that. Instead, the theme universe gave me seems to be “moving and changing”.

I moved a lot last year in terms of the roof over my head. I changed cities every 3 months on average. I always jokingly said that it’s a retaliation to my college years where I stayed in the same flat for 6 years straight. What I learned from the experience was that some cities are truly not worth the hype. Also, apparently I could still live while only having my laptop, 5 pairs of tops, 3 pairs of bottoms, 4 sheets of hijabs, 2 pairs of footwears, and bunches of undies with me, which all could fit into my backpack + weekender. Really puts me into perspective on how unnecessary capitalism and consumerism makes us stuff our homes with $1 trinkets we bought from marketplaces.

Along with the changing of my residence, I also change psychiatrists. In total, I’ve seen 7 doctors and this month I plan to see another new one. This is not to be followed, as actually you should stick with a psychologist/ therapist/ psychiatrist/ for a minimum of 6 months before you could evaluate whether the therapy is working or not, but I’m a rebel and I judge a book by its cover. I only trust 2 out of 7 books I saw. Sorry not sorry.

Medication-wise, happy to announce that I’m now free from benzos, sleeping pills, and anti-depressants. Last year I chugged so many pills, it’s hilarious to see them wrappers now (I kept them specifically for this reason: to see how many I got through in a year). Now I only take my prescribed methylphenidate tablets with the help of monthly CBT sessions from my doctor and a DBT skills workbook.

And about books, in 2022 I somehow (only) read 30 books, which I’m sure is a progress from my 2021, though I have no written record for how many I read that year. The book I enjoyed the most is The Drug Users Bible by Dominic Milton Trott, while the book that made the most impact for me would be Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Dr. Jonice Webb & Christine Musello. It’s where I learned about The Fatal Flaw concept that and brings me to the realization that my meds would only help so much, and I need proper therapy, which leads me to starting CBT sessions with my doctor.

What else to write about? I decided to gave up on school and treat it as a sunk cost; work has its down time but the spirit is high for the new year; and romance is dead like always.

I want my 2023 to be at least leaves its mark later and not just ‘gone’. I want to read 50 books. I want to travel overseas again. I will see Arctic Monkeys in March. I want to have a better Ramadan. I want to restart my fitness journey. I want to visit more airports. I want to kiss someone new. I want to laugh more.

Amen to all that.

Happy new year!

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